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Friday, January 20, 2006
permanently MOVED

Hi! I moved to ....http://tabulas.com/~budj

please visit me there!


Posted at 12:40 am by budj
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Wednesday, September 14, 2005
I can write buit i can't see
We can't always have everything!

plain and simple.




i'm here too!

Posted at 10:22 pm by budj
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Saturday, August 06, 2005
...and he speaks again
there are times when i feel alone
though i know i'm amidst a million people
yet it's as if i'm i am on my own
i go quiet, conserve my words

for no one will understand me or hear
down inside i sigh
ouside i breathe deep and
hold my head up high

There is a kind of peace and war
inside where no one but I can go
deep thoughts come emotions run
everything becomes clear

in the stillness of my isolation
i thrive and live and play
but then it doesn't stay that way
because sooner or later

in just a matter of time
i am pulled out of my hive
the world around me bids
for me to come out and play

With six billion other people
to be with and interact with
i go and face them all
but i will return again

alone



Posted at 04:52 pm by budj
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Thursday, May 12, 2005
Alone in Hongkong
Yup... that's what I am right now


Hongkong International Airport.  Just above gates 16 and 17 at the Dragon Air business class lounge. 

Yes. I'm travelling business.  Yes I'm on my way to Beijing.  Along.  Very Much.

Why am I blogging? because I want to... I feel I need to.


------------Stones turn to Water!----------------------

My ate is a cryer...somebody who can cry easily.  My Mom and I are not.  As they call it in Filipino...mga bato!  But I really know that my mom also cries...when it hurts so much. 

...I saw that this morning.. and it hurts me so much to see her hurting.  She's been through so much.   I thought my moving away to China would just liberate me and make me independent.  A learning process. a career move.  But it also brings with it separation.  Separation Anxiety? yup...my mom had that.  Sypmtoms: grumpy, moody, coldness.  But it didn't hit me till this morning that It hurt so much.  And I don't want her to feel that.  But that is how it goes. 

She hugged me and prayed for me.  I miss her already.
I miss my Ate too!

They are the two most important women in my life right now.  I love you Nanay and Ate so much.

"Lord, keep my Nanay and ate safe while I am away.  Please comfort them and give them the assurance that you are taking care of me also wherever in the world I am.  I am so grateful that you gave them to me. You are our shepherd, our comfort, refuge and strength. You will now and always be the God of our family. You bind us together even when we are apart physically. As you were faithful to us, I know you will continue to be faithful. Thank you Lord Jesus."

And that's how stones turned into water...


Posted at 04:26 pm by budj
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Friday, May 06, 2005
Leaving on a Jet Plane!
That's me!

Next week.

China...Beijing




read my other blog: http://tabulas.com/~makagitaw


Kakapost ko lang din : )

Posted at 10:32 pm by budj
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Tuesday, March 22, 2005
sun went back up the sky!

Unknown to him, she was hurting inside.  She didn’t know how to break the news.  It would devastate him.

But she said it anyway. "Hey! Boy! what are you talking about? I am not Gracie!"

He was shocked... awed. His jaw dropped like a gun cocking. His mouth ajar at what just had happened.

"Who the heck is Gracie!" She shouted. "You two-timing dork! And you thought you're handsome enough to do that. huh?"

Indignant she stood up and gave him another angry, jealous look.

The sky was darkening as she stomped away leaving him frozen yet melted.


Now that's not the sequel okay...just something that passed through my brain! :)
 

 


Posted at 12:56 am by budj
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Saturday, January 22, 2005
what's next after the sunset?
...for days, i've been thinking of how I would end the short story "Sunset" which I posted here in my blog. I would like to thank everyone who supplied their endings. I have the sequel brewing in my mind. hopefully write it down before it evaporates. i hope i'll be inspired!

Posted at 10:50 pm by budj
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Saturday, January 08, 2005
...

SUNSET

The setting sun gave the December sky an orange and purple shade. The birds flew in military-like formation with the darkening clouds above them.  He sat at their favorite spot - under the lone coconut tree in the vast garden of grass.  Children were playing and laughing near him. Across, young men played soccer.  Couples lined the sides while the car and jeepneys pass around the garden.  He squeezed himself, rubbing his palms to stay warm.  Then he smiled as a tear fell down his cheek. 

Three days ago he was here with her.

"I just love sitting here, passing time, watching the sunset with you Gracie" he said.  “Remember the first time we were here? We were still freshmen then, innocent, curios and lost.”  She was silent.

“I was the vain Cebuano who was having a hard time living alone.  While you…you were the classy private school graduate who worried so much about her grades.”  He sighed, stopped for a few seconds, reminiscing.  He let out a few laughs.  “You were snobby then, and that’s what attracted me to you.  I just love it when you throw your hair and raise your chin and give that look to people who annoy you.”  She smiled weakly without breaking her gaze at the balut vendor who was resting by the slopes.

“Oh how we were then” he continued. ”And how we changed.  We changed…”

Slowly the sun began its descent behind the trees lining the garden.  Crickets chatter about wile the leaves sway at the wind’s steady whisper. 

“This is where you answered my courting.  Where you gave your yes.  Do you remember Gracie?  Of course you do.  We were on our second year.  December wasn’t it?” he asked.

“9th” she spilled out.

“Yes yes, I was filled with joy that I ran the whole length of this place twice. It was the happiest day of my life.”

“I love you Gracie” he exhaled.  He looked at her and marveled at the beauty beside him.  Her hair was long and jet black.  She was slender yet not so thin.  Her eyes glistened like diamonds and her lips as rubies. She held her chin on her knees.  She was quiet.

Only silence separated them from each other now.  He spoke again.

“Is there anything wrong?  You seem to be very quiet.  Are you feeling bad?”

She silently swayed her head…no.

He let her be.  He lied down on the grass and closed his eyes.  He thought of their happy times.  He imagined the future, carefully planning out his moves, a nice house in a secure village. Two cars, an excellent job, then coming home to Gracie each night after a long day.  She was his first.  Hopefully his last.

Unknown to him, she was hurting inside.  She didn’t know how to break the news.  It would devastate him.

 



this is a story i wrote last year...dedicated to a friend because she likes sunsets so much.
this is FICTION. and all the characters are fictitious. any similarities to any person or event are purely coincidental and was not meant. (i forgot how the disclaimer goes... :) )

bitin?
how would you like the story to end?

Posted at 02:42 am by budj
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Sunday, January 02, 2005
Prayer

LORD take over

not I

But CHRIST


Posted at 11:28 pm by budj
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Thought!


"The place where God calls you is where your deepest gladness and the world's deepest hunger meet" -Frederick Breuchner


now, doesn't that make you think?












Posted at 11:22 pm by budj
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